i dun wanna complain

i dun wanna complain but i really need an avenue to let out all my stress, anger and sadness inside me. ever since i stepped into uni, i’ve been supporting myself by going out to work during every single sch break, then to go on holidays because i know how hard i’ve been working, so that is a like pat on my back from me for me. i dun just work for myself, i work for everyone around me, especially for my family. so that when i get all the experiences i need, i will be more treasured in the working world in future. also, to avoid whatever unnecessary problems that may happen again in the house.

i always look forward to going home, to rest, to have my peace, even if i seldom share what is going on in my life (be it in sch or work) to my family or friends. i know im quiet, but that is the way u guys brought me up to. u guys never share since young. im not saying these are all your fault, but this is the way i was brought up.

today u asked me to copy down a foreign number without any purpose. i checked where the number was from, because u asked me to albeit with a little reluctance because why? i dun want another problem to surface again in the family. im tired of all of it even though u all always say, these are problem we shouldnt worry about because we are still young. but, how can this ever happen?

i want so much to treasure u guys, and im working so hard to give u guys a good life after i graduate because why? i dun want to regret not treasuring u guys when u guys are still alive. i dun want what happened to my friend, to happen here as well.

pls remember, i will reciprocate.. not like i dun.

it’s just like how u can be so jovial infront of other people, but not to us. and i wonder why.. is it biasness? im really clueless.

sometimes i think i really am a buddha already, to let go and forgive no matter how bad i am insulted or accused.

i want to live life the way i want because i nv have had a chance to do that when i was young.. and because im still young now, i want to learn those things i never had a chance to learn last time. i want to treasure the time i have now, to have a little childhood i always wanted. and this is why im working so hard for..

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