i dun wanna complain

i dun wanna complain but i really need an avenue to let out all my stress, anger and sadness inside me. ever since i stepped into uni, i’ve been supporting myself by going out to work during every single sch break, then to go on holidays because i know how hard i’ve been working, so that is a like pat on my back from me for me. i dun just work for myself, i work for everyone around me, especially for my family. so that when i get all the experiences i need, i will be more treasured in the working world in future. also, to avoid whatever unnecessary problems that may happen again in the house.

i always look forward to going home, to rest, to have my peace, even if i seldom share what is going on in my life (be it in sch or work) to my family or friends. i know im quiet, but that is the way u guys brought me up to. u guys never share since young. im not saying these are all your fault, but this is the way i was brought up.

today u asked me to copy down a foreign number without any purpose. i checked where the number was from, because u asked me to albeit with a little reluctance because why? i dun want another problem to surface again in the family. im tired of all of it even though u all always say, these are problem we shouldnt worry about because we are still young. but, how can this ever happen?

i want so much to treasure u guys, and im working so hard to give u guys a good life after i graduate because why? i dun want to regret not treasuring u guys when u guys are still alive. i dun want what happened to my friend, to happen here as well.

pls remember, i will reciprocate.. not like i dun.

it’s just like how u can be so jovial infront of other people, but not to us. and i wonder why.. is it biasness? im really clueless.

sometimes i think i really am a buddha already, to let go and forgive no matter how bad i am insulted or accused.

i want to live life the way i want because i nv have had a chance to do that when i was young.. and because im still young now, i want to learn those things i never had a chance to learn last time. i want to treasure the time i have now, to have a little childhood i always wanted. and this is why im working so hard for..

こんにちは!

Papers these days haven’t been friendly at all. And I’m indeed struggling.. but yoga therapy and hatha made me feel so much better after another trauma yesterday! I will give a review on the classes I’ve went so far in days to come! Look out for it!

Here’re pictures of muffin when he disturb me on my bed. Oh no.. I hear him dreaming now!

888

Huat ah!! =) (Blog stats shows 888)

I hope luck is on its way here. I need it BADLY.

日本語日本語日本語日本語日本語！！

It’s an unforgivable excuse..

I have so many to update but I simply can’t find the time. I can only do a quick one through my iPhone. =)

My days have been hectic and stressful recently due to the preparation of exam and I seriously can’t wait for all of these to be over. And frankly speaking, I’m no longer pinning hopes on getting good grades this sem because I simply can’t. That is an excuse that simply cannot be forgiven, but u’ll know why if u’ve gone through the same thing as me. And I finally broke down…

But friends, no matter what I’ll still go on even with the most disastrous grades in my life. (for I see no engineer in myself in future) I can simply slap myself for saying this. Yes. You too if u want but I can’t help it.

Note that I’m getting into my stubborn oldself while writing this post. It’s an angry one too btw. Rarr…!!! Damn all these.

someone’s testing my patience in collating and doing this stupid business plan, and the other is just missing like forever. like HELLO? i need to blardy study for my finals too alright? and this blardy business plan is also in your grade, and why is it that i have to work so much harder than u guys. so wat if u guys have work, so what if i ask u to send me things by tonight, is it too much to ask? do u guys even think about why i am rushing these things?? do u guys even know that your other team-mates are slogging their ass off so that you guys can have GOOD RESULTS too? walao eh.. seriously pissed off la. ask u add one logo only also have to say need mei? do i ask u to do things without much thinking? it is so apparent that u didn’t even refer to the sample business plans! as a leader, i really do not want to throw my temper out but today i really really cannot take it anymore. i know i have to set example infront of all of u guys, and i did. but if u have a common sense or emotional intelligence, can u even realise that I AM FREAKING PISSED!?!?!??! F up know seriously. and i made the RIGHT choice to reject u seriously man..